I like many of you, I had a childhood that should've been a loving, nurturing, and safe experience. Instead, my childhood and teenage years were full of fear, sadness, and turmoil. Later in life, Fear quickly turned into anger, sadness turned into depression, and turmoil turned into bitterness. At the age of 5, I witnessed my uncle try to take his own life. I was not alone, 4 of his young children and my mother were with me. What happened that night gave me nightmares until the age of 13. I went on to experience many things that no child should.
In my 20's all those experiences surfaced once again. They came in the form of nightmares, suicidal thoughts, and self-hate. I had a chip on my shoulder as big as a mountain, and I trusted no one. The walls around my heart were like solid concrete 10 feet thick, 20 feet tall, wrapped in razor wire and electrified! No one dare enter! But on the other hand, I was easily betrayed by those I thought suffered similar experiences. To put it plainly, I was a mess!
Luckily, my mother involved me in church at a young age. At the age of 7, I asked my aunt to pray with me to receive the Holy Spirit. I will soon write about that experience; it was absolutely amazing! I went on to live a pretty squeaky-clean life even through most of my teen years. I sadly left my church at the age of 15; it was something I felt I was forced to do. Unfortunately, my many falls from grace soon started.
I have lived a life of both sinner and saint. I look back now at age 50, and thank God for every test and trial, even the ones I failed and hurt the most. Because of my own mistakes, I finally was becoming ready to fall down on my knees and surrender all of myself to God. I was ready let the past die and start to do a lot of forgiving. I was even ready to start forgiving myself. I was ready to find that innocent little girl I used to be, the little girl that somehow knew Jesus intimately with all her heart. I will not tell you that it's easy. I am very much God's work in progress. I will tell you however, I am so blessed that I ran back to God!
I just hope and pray that you are ready to do the same for yourself. Literally, Let go and Let God! Let him love you, Let him help you forgive others, Let him forgive you and Let him help you to forgive yourself. Receive his Grace and Salvation Today!
My Prayer for you:
Father God, I come to you on behalf of my brother or sister in Christ.
I pray that they come to you and seek you with their whole heart.
I pray that today is the day they accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior.
I pray that you protect them every second of everyday!
I pray that they experience the full measure of your Glory and Grace in their lives.
I pray that if they were walking with you but fell away, that they come running back home to you. I pray that they never look back but only forward to their New Life with You.
In the Holy name of Jesus, I pray, Amen